Time does not bring relief

Time does not bring relief; you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;
I want him at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,
And last year’s leaves are smoke in every lane;
But last year’s bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide.
There are a hundred places where I fear
To go - so with his memory they brim.
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, ‘There is no memory of him here!’
And so stand stricken, so remembering him.


Edna St Vincent Millay (1892 -1950)

Bl ack

Some things change... some stay the same...

We were both awake, listening to the clock radio. Neither of us had stirred, neither of us had acknowledged that the other was awake.
The end of the 7:30 news droned on with its usual list of horrors. And then a song. 

I listened and was transported back to 1972 when I was 15, when the lyrics were about love ...
and not about grief.

"You sheltered me from harm
Kept me warm, kept me warm
You gave my life to me
Set me free, set me free
The finest years I ever knew
Were all the years I had with you..."

And then without speaking Stan hit the off button on the clock radio... just as the chorus was about to soar...

"And I would give anything I own
Give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again."

... because he knew.

"Its too late." I said. "I know the next line too well."

And nearly a week later, the lyrics are still swirling around my head.

Because I would.

I would give up everything I own – Bread